The heart


The heart of natureĀ is ever clear,
even with those we hold so dear…

Is this really the case?? After this last week I have been left to question life and the universe and all it has to show for itself… why you might ask dear reader….why indeed, is what I ask also.
You see my first born child and my only son died last Tuesday 21st January 2014… at the moment we don’t know why and we as the family and loved ones are left with many questions unanswered and we have to wait 10 weeks for the results of the autopsy.
Benjamin Hodgson, my son who was also known as Gwak, Ben, Benny Beep Bops (he’d hate me for revealing his childhood nick name) aged only 29 years, still had a lot to offer in this world. He was going to be in his final year at Box Hill TAFE, doing a music business degree, which he loved doing. He had excelled beyond his wildest expectations and was so looking forward to this year, he had scaled back on some of his social activities to focus on himself a little bit more. You see dear reader Ben had a heart of gold, was a scholar among gentlemen, beggars and thieves and loved life. He had the capacity to love and be loved in return… he was always there with a friendly ear to all who knew him and some wise words for those lost souls who found their way in his company. Everyone who knew him will say.. ‘Ben just got me straight away and accepted me for all my quirkiness’ for he never hated anyone, he never judged a soul, he believed everyone should have a chance to grow and develop with love, laughs and a bit of a drink on the side.
I’m starting this blog in honour of Ben, I found his WordPress account this morning and he was showing me a part of himself I hadn’t seen before…I loved it and it was almost like he was standing over by shoulder willing me to join up….now I don’t quite know what I’m doing, except to say I feel that this is a beginning to my healing journey as my heart has broken in two… which is quite ironic considering that I am a Spiritual Healer, however this is an unusual situation i find myself in…So it’s not all going to come out at once, it will happen when it happens and you dear reader will have to be patient as I take you on this journey of self healing and perhaps it will help you also, that is my wish.